Photo by Sean Carpenter – UltiPhotos.com

Did you just sign up for MLU Fantasy without a lick of ultimate frisbee knowledge? Want to know who the best players in the league are without watching hours of film? Fear not, I’ve actually been sitting in this film room for so long that my eyes are bleeding and I’m here to pass my faulty knowledge on to you!

Now I can draft a terrible team just as well as the next guy, but this list right here? These are the locks. Pick any of these seven superstars and I guarantee you will not be disappointed. (Note from the editor: Luke’s guarantee will not hold up in a court of law).

Superstar

Peter Prial | D.C. Current

If you have the first overall pick, you take Peter Prial. If you have the second overall pick, you trade a date with your sister to whoever has the first pick…and you take Peter Prial. Even after missing two games last year Prial was the sixth highest scorer in the MLU. He catches goals like an elite cutter, throws assists like a top handler and gets more blocks than 93 percent of the players in the league. Were you really planning on taking someone else?

Handler

Alan Kolick | D.C. Current

Eastern Conference MVP? Check. League leader in assists with 31? Check. Stunningly beautiful flowing locks? Check. There isn’t much Alan Kolick can’t do for your team. He puts the disc where he wants, when he wants. So if you’re interested in jaw-dropping highlight reel catches and throws that will give your fantasy team a ton of points, you may want to pick him up.

Handler

Josh Markette | Boston Whitecaps

Over the last two seasons there hasn’t been a single handler in the MLU with more attempted throws and assists – and less throwaways – than Josh Markette. In 2013? 31 assists (one off the league lead), six throw aways. In 2014? 29 assists (two off the league lead), 1 throw away. I repeat, 1 THROW AWAY. Let me break down all 16 turnovers that occurred when Josh Markette threw the disc last year .

10 = Defensive blocks
5 = Receiver drops
1 = Throwaways

If Josh Markette has the disc in his hands the only way the Whitecaps are losing possession is if someone drops his throw or the other team makes a defensive play, period.

If I was a betting man, which I am, I’d say Markette comes away with the league lead in assists this year and has less than 15 turnovers. Put it in the books.

Receiver

Brendan Wong | Vancouver Nighthawks

Of the 184 catches that Brendan Wong recorded last year, 48 of them were goals…48…that’s 26 percent of his catches. That was also the league lead, by 16 goals. Actually forget leading the league in goals. Wong’s 48 would have been good for the league lead in total scoring (That’s goals + assists for those not in the know). AND HE STILL THREW 15 ASSISTS ON TOP OF HIS 48 GOALS. Brendan Wong didn’t just break the MLU scoring record, he obliterated it, and with a full season of a healthy Kirk Savage and Aaron Loach chucking it to him, I see no reason why Wong shouldn’t be able to have another monster fantasy season.

Receiver

Jeff Graham | Boston Whitecaps

Jeff Graham’s 2014 season: 27 goals, 20 assists, 97 percent completion rate and only 11 turnovers. Through two seasons he may be the best player in the league there is absolutely no doubt that he is the best player in the league and he makes every single player that walks out on a line with him better. If you draft Jeff Graham you’ll have the flexibility of slotting him as your superstar, receiver or handler. He’s a can’t miss pick for the 2015 season.

Defender

Morgan Hibbert | Vancouver Nighthawks

It’ll be extremely difficult for Morgan Hibbert to match his league-high 21 blocks from last year, but take a deep breath, rip off your fear shorts and put on your confidence skirt. If Morgatron leads the league in defensive points played again in 2015,  he’ll bag you at least 18 blocks and a boatload of assists and goals. Play him in your defender slot and you’ll earn a cool 10 fantasy points every single time Hibbert does this:

Defender

Topher Davis | Portland Stags

If it wasn’t for a certain Mr. Wong, Topher Davis would have walked away with the Western Conference Rookie of the Year Award in 2014. What sets Davis apart from the rest of the top block producers in the league isn’t just his beard, but his calm command of his D-line once they’ve produced a turnover. If Topher sees some added minutes on offense this year, he won’t just be one of the better defender plays out there, but one of the better fantasy plays period.

Luke Ryan is the head statistician at Major League Ultimate, as well as the in-house fantasy expert. He is not responsible if you come in last place in your league.